Thursday, 23 March 2017 / Anxiety, Health, Thoughts
The Background Behind The Poem 'My Anxiety'
This is something a bit new but I wanted to go into a bit more depth about a recent poem that I posted on this blog. If you haven't read it, it is called 'My Anxiety' and you can read it here.
I am not quite sure where to begin really. It is a little bit hard for me to write this because I know I won't be able to put everything onto paper. But I will get to the point. Right.
I started feeling very sick about April 2016, so not that long ago. It was the day before my birthday and I was revising every day for my GCSEs. I had been on holiday for the week and it was the last day before we went home. We were sat in the restaurant, where I had the most lovely meal, when I felt very very hot. I didn't know what was happening, so I went to the loo. I breathed for a bit and then thought it would be okay. I still felt a bit sick but I thought it was a phase. I went back to the table and 5 minutes later I felt very hot and sick again, so I went outside for some air. Again, I felt okay to go back in, where I denied pudding (not something that usually happens!). Then it happened again, but worse. I ran outside, where I thought I was going to throw up, but I didn't. I sat down and I cried because I had no idea what was happening. I felt so horrible and tense and hot and sick and I thought I was going to die. We left quickly and drove back to our holiday cottage, where I went to bed and then woke up the next day, feeling fine. I don't think I have told very many people about this, if anyone other than my family. I cannot remember exactly though.
I then felt very sick quite a few times, where I would be lying in bed and suddenly get very hot, or sat watching TV and have to go and have a glass of water and calm down. I just didn't know what was happening.
I hadn't been educated in mental health problems, so this wasn't something I had thought about really. I thought it was an infection or something. But after the summer, about 7 months later, I went to the doctor, after it calmed down for a bit but getting worse again when I restarted college. I then reflected on how I had been feeling and did a bit of research. I pinpointed anxiety, as it seemed to include quite a few things that I had experienced in the symptoms.
I told my mum what I thought it was a couple of days later. She said she had thought about it too and agreed of me. We said we would see how it went and then maybe look at college counselling if necessary. I haven't been to the counsellor as I don't think I need them at the moment, but it is a bit of a waiting game, to be honest.
I haven't been formally diagnosed, but after researching a lot, I am certain this is it. Stress is the main cause of it all and as I am coming up to doing my exams, I am expecting it to get worse again. However, my friends know and are able to support me, which I am ever-grateful for.
This is just a bit of what happens in my head everyday, but I have only ever told a handful of my friends all of what is on this post. But it needs to be recognised more. We need to be educated in this. One in six people have experienced a mental health problem in the past week. One in four people have a mental health problem. It needs to be recognised and time and money need to be spent on it.
I am not quite sure where to begin really. It is a little bit hard for me to write this because I know I won't be able to put everything onto paper. But I will get to the point. Right.
I started feeling very sick about April 2016, so not that long ago. It was the day before my birthday and I was revising every day for my GCSEs. I had been on holiday for the week and it was the last day before we went home. We were sat in the restaurant, where I had the most lovely meal, when I felt very very hot. I didn't know what was happening, so I went to the loo. I breathed for a bit and then thought it would be okay. I still felt a bit sick but I thought it was a phase. I went back to the table and 5 minutes later I felt very hot and sick again, so I went outside for some air. Again, I felt okay to go back in, where I denied pudding (not something that usually happens!). Then it happened again, but worse. I ran outside, where I thought I was going to throw up, but I didn't. I sat down and I cried because I had no idea what was happening. I felt so horrible and tense and hot and sick and I thought I was going to die. We left quickly and drove back to our holiday cottage, where I went to bed and then woke up the next day, feeling fine. I don't think I have told very many people about this, if anyone other than my family. I cannot remember exactly though.
I then felt very sick quite a few times, where I would be lying in bed and suddenly get very hot, or sat watching TV and have to go and have a glass of water and calm down. I just didn't know what was happening.
I hadn't been educated in mental health problems, so this wasn't something I had thought about really. I thought it was an infection or something. But after the summer, about 7 months later, I went to the doctor, after it calmed down for a bit but getting worse again when I restarted college. I then reflected on how I had been feeling and did a bit of research. I pinpointed anxiety, as it seemed to include quite a few things that I had experienced in the symptoms.
I told my mum what I thought it was a couple of days later. She said she had thought about it too and agreed of me. We said we would see how it went and then maybe look at college counselling if necessary. I haven't been to the counsellor as I don't think I need them at the moment, but it is a bit of a waiting game, to be honest.
I haven't been formally diagnosed, but after researching a lot, I am certain this is it. Stress is the main cause of it all and as I am coming up to doing my exams, I am expecting it to get worse again. However, my friends know and are able to support me, which I am ever-grateful for.
This is just a bit of what happens in my head everyday, but I have only ever told a handful of my friends all of what is on this post. But it needs to be recognised more. We need to be educated in this. One in six people have experienced a mental health problem in the past week. One in four people have a mental health problem. It needs to be recognised and time and money need to be spent on it.
Wednesday, 8 March 2017 / Health, Poems, Wednesday
My Anxiety//A Poem
This thing that covers me,
blinds me, hurts inside
Makes me feel unwelcome,
Like my hands are tied.
My tummy starts to hurt,
My hands begin to sweat,
My head goes all foggy,
My end has been met.
Breath in for 4,
Hold it for 6,
Breathe out for 8
On that, I do transfix.
This is something looked down
On by so many in society,
This is what I live with.
My anxiety.
--
Disclaimer: My life isn't bad. My mental health is not as bad as lots and lots of people and I accept that. This poem does not include all of the symptoms that I get from anxiety, but it just gives you a bit of an insight into it. I have not been diagnosed by a doctor, but my mum and I have researched this a lot.
blinds me, hurts inside
Makes me feel unwelcome,
Like my hands are tied.
My tummy starts to hurt,
My hands begin to sweat,
My head goes all foggy,
My end has been met.
Breath in for 4,
Hold it for 6,
Breathe out for 8
On that, I do transfix.
This is something looked down
On by so many in society,
This is what I live with.
My anxiety.
--
Disclaimer: My life isn't bad. My mental health is not as bad as lots and lots of people and I accept that. This poem does not include all of the symptoms that I get from anxiety, but it just gives you a bit of an insight into it. I have not been diagnosed by a doctor, but my mum and I have researched this a lot.
Sunday, 5 March 2017 / Favourites, Monthly, Sum-up, Sunday
February Sum-Up
Hola, yo soy Katie y yo hablo Ingles!
I'll talk a bit more about that in a bit, but here is my February in a nutshell for you!
I am sorry it is a little bit late!
Favourite Part?
Usually, February is one of those months that aren't particularly amazing, for one reason or another, but this year has upped its game and it has actually been really enjoyable. The beginning wasn't great. My photos are full of whiteboard photos with law notes on and timetables for my recitals. However, I then spent the afternoon with one of my best friends doing a bit of shopping and going to the ice cream and waffle parlour. I wasn't planning to spend my day doing that but it was such a nice afternoon and I am so glad I did it.
I then spent Valentines Day with my friends and it was the most beautiful night. We went to Nandos and then went to a light show where our new shopping and food centre has been opened. The lights were the prettiest thing ever and I got some really lovely photos there. It made me very happy to have such good friends. Who needs boys anyway?
Lastly, I went on holiday with my family to the Lake District, which was rainy but also lovely. I gave me a chance to refresh myself for the busy half term in front of me. I was able to bring myself back to where I needed to be and have a chance to rest. It was lovely, apart from Storm Doris hitting us in the last couple of days!
Books I Have Read?
I have only read one book this month, which was the Adele biography by Sean Smith, which was such a good read! I wrote about it a little bit on my last post!
Favourite Music?
Running up to me seeing Dodie in concert, I have listened to quite a lot of her, along with Adele, obviously. I have been listening to a lot more of Spotify's own playlists, which are so good for every mood I am in! Also, seeing as this is being posted on the 5th March, I will just include Lorde's new song, Ed Sheeran's new album and my personal favourite, Sarah Close's new single, which I have been excited about for a long time!
Something I Have Learned?
Green tea with jasmine is very nice and also quite photogenic when put it a glass jar with a pretty straw! (This photo doesn't do it justice!)
Favourite TV?
I'm going to do a whole post on my favourite TV shows at the moment, but of course, it has to be This Morning. I love to catch up with the day's episode when I come home from college and I am doing work!
What is happening in March?
Work, of course, is taking priority, with a few deadlines coming, but also quite a few concerts, both watching and being in them and getting ready for my birthday in April!
Anything else?
I was honoured by the presence of Eamonn Holmes joining my Twitter community the other day, which excited me a lot! Also, I started learning Spanish, which is why I mentioned it earlier! I love it a lot, it feels refreshing to not have the pressure of having to sit in a class and learn certain things, I can do a course on Duolingo and learn what I want when I want, without the homework!
I'll talk a bit more about that in a bit, but here is my February in a nutshell for you!
I am sorry it is a little bit late!
Favourite Part?
Usually, February is one of those months that aren't particularly amazing, for one reason or another, but this year has upped its game and it has actually been really enjoyable. The beginning wasn't great. My photos are full of whiteboard photos with law notes on and timetables for my recitals. However, I then spent the afternoon with one of my best friends doing a bit of shopping and going to the ice cream and waffle parlour. I wasn't planning to spend my day doing that but it was such a nice afternoon and I am so glad I did it.
I then spent Valentines Day with my friends and it was the most beautiful night. We went to Nandos and then went to a light show where our new shopping and food centre has been opened. The lights were the prettiest thing ever and I got some really lovely photos there. It made me very happy to have such good friends. Who needs boys anyway?
Lastly, I went on holiday with my family to the Lake District, which was rainy but also lovely. I gave me a chance to refresh myself for the busy half term in front of me. I was able to bring myself back to where I needed to be and have a chance to rest. It was lovely, apart from Storm Doris hitting us in the last couple of days!
Books I Have Read?
I have only read one book this month, which was the Adele biography by Sean Smith, which was such a good read! I wrote about it a little bit on my last post!
Favourite Music?
Running up to me seeing Dodie in concert, I have listened to quite a lot of her, along with Adele, obviously. I have been listening to a lot more of Spotify's own playlists, which are so good for every mood I am in! Also, seeing as this is being posted on the 5th March, I will just include Lorde's new song, Ed Sheeran's new album and my personal favourite, Sarah Close's new single, which I have been excited about for a long time!
Something I Have Learned?
Green tea with jasmine is very nice and also quite photogenic when put it a glass jar with a pretty straw! (This photo doesn't do it justice!)
Favourite TV?
I'm going to do a whole post on my favourite TV shows at the moment, but of course, it has to be This Morning. I love to catch up with the day's episode when I come home from college and I am doing work!
What is happening in March?
Work, of course, is taking priority, with a few deadlines coming, but also quite a few concerts, both watching and being in them and getting ready for my birthday in April!
Anything else?
I was honoured by the presence of Eamonn Holmes joining my Twitter community the other day, which excited me a lot! Also, I started learning Spanish, which is why I mentioned it earlier! I love it a lot, it feels refreshing to not have the pressure of having to sit in a class and learn certain things, I can do a course on Duolingo and learn what I want when I want, without the homework!
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